When Playing BIG, Old “Issues” Will Arise
Many women have massive doubts about their ability to do something really big in this world when it comes to starting and growing their business. They may have trained for it, planned it and even taken every step they thought possible to make it happen. But then…
They wonder whether they really have what it takes or whether they’re “good enough.” They tell themselves so many stories so that it will calm the fear part of their brain and by doing this they begin to believe the stories they tell themselves about why starting a business or growing a business is not for them and it will not work.
I talk to my clients, the talented, educated women who have incredible skill, knowledge and passion about their area of expertise, about where they want to take their business or what they would like to achieve by starting a business. We talked about taking the great leap of faith, really expanding our vision of what’s possible for our business, for our clients and for ourselves, and how to harness the power of their business brain.
Now… that’s all well and good, but what about ALL the emotions that arise when you take a great big leap of faith and step into your purpose? No one ever prepares us for that and it can be an uncomfortable process. Yes, it really can. If you are stepping into your zone of genius, be it a chef, a dog trainer, a coach or counselor then not only are you are uplevelling your life, but you are also having to up-level and harness the power of your business brain, master your mindset and learn the skills and strategies to achieve success.
Also, when you decide to step into your future in a BIG way, unexpected internal issues resurface, yes, even those you thought, even issues you thought you’d ALREADY dealt with.
Your prefrontal lobe, the part of your brain that comes up with all of your great ideas, will search other areas of your brain to see if it can find anywhere that a similar experience and outcome is stored.
This is why people will try and may not succeed the first time. So on the second attempt of starting or growing their business, when their subconscious scans their brain they find only failures, fears, embarrassment, guilt, sadness that surrounds the thought of starting a business. This is why so many people try and fail, try and fail. Their brain is programmed for them not to achieve.
If this is you then you are not alone. Here’s a snapshot of what came up for me:
“Will they really want what I’m going to be offering?”
“Perhaps I should just keep doing what I’ve been doing for years. At least I know I’m good at that.”
“What if I fail and humiliate myself in front of thousands of people. It’s not worth it.”
“What if they reject my new idea?”
“What if I have to take time away from my loved ones?”
”Do I really have it within me to ACHIEVE this?”
“I’m SO scared.”
Just telling you about what came up for me made me feel really uncomfortable.
“What if people don’t want to work with me, because I'm not good enough.”
But here’s what I also observed. When you break it down, there really are only two powerful emotions in the world: Love and Fear. And you can only express one emotion at a time.
And there are origins for each of those emotions.
Love comes from your higher self, Spirit, Universe, God (whatever you want to call it.) Love is safe, there is trust in love. We live in an expansive, growing universe and your source WANTS you to grow, to be bigger, to dream bigger and bigger.
Fear, on the other hand, comes from the ego and the part of the brain that wants to keep you “safe”. It puts on the brakes and it makes you second guess yourself.
Now, go back up to the list of things I was thinking and feeling and review them. You’ll see that every one of them is based in fear. Which means that each of them is ego-driven.
Fear does exist, even if you don’t always feel it, It’s part of our subconscious. But we experience fear for a reason. In business we have to trust ourselves, we have to believe in ourselves, even when we have no evidence of a positive outcome and we put our time and finances on the line. Even when we know we are meant for a great life, support our families and experience a life we desire.
So if you can recognise that what you’re experiencing or feeling is only there to keep you safe then you can begin to release it. That’s what I recognised this week. I chose to go bigger, and I hope you will too.
Your Assignment:
Notice what thoughts and emotions come up as you make a commitment to walk boldly into the next step in your business and purpose for being self-employed. Make a list. Write them down. Then, as you read your list, in the margin, I’d like you to label that emotion.
Love, or Fear. Which is it based on?
Listen, let’s admit that this will probably happen a lot more in the beginning of your business journey. But when you see this happen over and over again, and you recognise it, the hold fear has on you will begin to diminish.
Now, imagine yourself standing at the doorway of your BIG vision and future. You’ve got your hand on the doorknob. You’re ready to step in but you hear “voices” behind you begging you to play small and stay safe. Inside though, you know that these are all smoke and mirrors, that they’re not real.
You have two options:
1) Walk through the door anyway, because you have no choice but to be your best self and stop playing a small game.
Or 2) Stay small because of fear for the rest of your life.
You choose.
Personally, I’m walking through. And I’m betting on my belief that it will turn out OK, if not WAY better than I could ever have believed. The alternative for me is unthinkable. What about you? What will you do? I’m hoping you walk through that door with me.
I’m here for you to make it happen and with all the support you need.
If you’re interested in walking this journey with me, come and sign up to my free course coming up soon. I can’t recommend this enough for you. THIS is what we’ll be doing together, among many other things. Stepping up in a BIG way, upgrading our mindset, kickstarting our businesses and our lives, and reaching big.
Go to the newsletter sign up and you can register your early interest there.
“Are you joining me?
© 2023 Sarah Asquith-Vallance. All Rights Reserved.
Sarah Asquith-Vallance is a neuroentrepreneurship coach and business mentor who helps talented and educated women start and grow a thriving online business with consistent clients, cash flow and confidence without overwhelm, and still have the freedom they desire through her proven step-by-step programme The Neuro-Business Academy.
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